Brother Poem

One day soon,
sooner than you think,
all those Saturday papers,
all those Sunday morning coffee cups,
will quietly gather dust like artefacts
in some kitschy museum
of what once was.

all the slow Sunday wake up stories
will be finished,
filed away
and strangely unmissed
as the only story you wrote that will
ever really matter howls
her good morning metaphors
at 5:00
or 4:00
or 3:23
or whenever the fuck she feels like it really.

And soon her ‘you,
hey you,
I need you’
lungs will
split the quiet so perfectly
that while you’ll crave it like a fix,
a strange and stretched out part of you
will come to hate the quiet.

And soon,
her milky smell skin,
her eye scrunch toothless grin,
her midnight wake up burps,
and all the other kinds of pink,
soft- limbed perfect
will wrap themselves around you.

And when she falls asleep against you,
her strung out froggy limbs spread across your chest,
her little knuckle heart
brailing away at your breastbone,
her tiny snores
harpooning all that shared air,
you’ll breathe your life
into her lungs,
and retell all the stories
of all the things you ever did that brought you here-
to this moment
to this amber light rest
and you’ll see that love,
and purpose,
these things make no mistakes.

And soon,
sooner than you think,
probably a Sunday afternoon,
you’ll lay on your back on a blanket
spread across your backyard lawn.
She’ll be standing on your stomach,
holding your hands and dancing,
and there, against a perfectly blue sky
she’ll sing you are my sunshine,
and every star forged atom of you
will dance
and everything ever named
as god or love or fate
will reach down
and blowtorch away your broken parts
and there,
in that singing minute,
you will be perfect,
you will be whole,
and you’ll sing back.

And now for something inconsequential and cute

Some days are grey corners of quiet libraries
where nobody bothers to read the books.
Where piles of unmarked papers
and the river passing by are cause for catholic guilt.

Some days are shallow holes dug in front yards
filled in with trips to Bunnings,
grinning garden gnomes
and bags of chicken shit.

Today was a pyjama babyccino date,
a laughing hose in the face,
and a two year old smile saying chase me.

Mighty Thumbnail

On the day the ground opened up and swallowed you whole,
some strange part of me wanted to reach inside that box to smooth my cracked hands across the beautiful  blue of  that suit I know
you took with you into the earth.
Wanted to see how they arranged your hands
and the shining silver halo light that always hung crooked but perfectly holy.

Whenever I stand at open graves,
I hold my breath,
and in my mind,
I jump.